Goodbye, Jerry

Looks Like a Great Conversation

Another photo sent this week by Tina Porter at Meadville Lombard Theological School. This one shows Dad with the Rev. Suzanne Fast, an MDiv graduate, on May 17, 2009, during Commencement in Chicago. I like how Dad held people in high regard -- especially ministers -- when he spoke with them.

-- Doug Davidoff

Jerry, the 'LEADD' Teacher of Religion and the American Way

As I process all the memories that people have of Dad, I am realizing afresh just how much young adults in high school, college, and graduate school mattered to him.

An example that has not received enough attention -- I regret not elevating it in the obituary information I helped to publish -- is the LEADD program of the Interfaith Alliance. It's a program that Mom and Dad helped to design and execute during the past decade. LEADD stands for "Leadership Education Advocating Democracy and Diversity."

The program is conducted chiefly in the summer for rising high school sophomores and juniors. My son, Robert William Davidoff, participated in the pilot program of LEADD three years ago at The Mountain, a UU camp and conference center near Highlands, North Carolina.

A measure of Dad's attention to LEADD is that a First Amendment case study he prepared for the program was on his desk as he died. I want people associated with LEADD to know that.

-- Doug Davidoff

Jerry with Grandson Jasper Lewis Davidoff

Tina Porter, the senior director of student services and communications at Meadville Lombard Theological School, just found this lovely photo of a moment between Dad and his youngest grandchild, Jasper. It was taken on May 16, 2009, at the dinner at First Unitarian Church of Chicago before the May 17th Commencement at Meadville Lombard. (Mom received an honorary doctorate from Meadville Lombard on that occasion.)

-- Doug Davidoff

Getting Jerry: The Children's Edition

It was not always easy for children to "get" Dad. This was often true for his own children, and very often true for the children who encountered him, especially at first.

In this blog, I'm refraining from quoting private expressions of love and condolence. But one note from one child, or at least a former child in touch with her inner girl, expresses what I think it was like for so many children growing up with Dad.

Denise,

I am so very sorry for what you are all going through now. My thoughts and prayers are with you, John and Doug, and Jerry. You know, I used to be scared of Jerry when I was a little girl. He was SO tall and had this great booming voice; he seemed very intimidating to me as this little tiny petite person of 4 or 5. But when I got a little older and got to know him I realized he has this great big giant heart and has the best soul, like a giant teddy bear. I know Jerry's life has been filled with great love and joy and those of us who know him are truly blessed by his friendship and that great big giant heart.

I wish there was more I could do or say. I wish you all peace and love.

To this writer, who will recognize herself if she reads this, thanks. May we soon catch up and talk about it more.

-- Doug Davidoff

WestportNow.com Obituary for Jerry

As I catch up with correspondence about Dad that lagged for the past two weeks, I see I have neglected to post this link to the obit and wonderful comments on WestportNow.com. WestportNow is a great community news site founded by Gordon Joseloff, the former CBS news correspondent who today is first selectman of Westport.

The accompanying photo was taken by the Unitarian Universalist Association photographer at the General Assembly in Saint Louis, Missouri, in 2006 at which Mom and Dad were given the Distinguished Service Award.

-- Doug Davidoff

Dan Woog Highlights Jerry's Concern for Kids and Educational Opportunity and Compliments Arrive as a Result

Westport writer/blogger Dan Woog, who is someone Dad admired, has returned the favor with a moving blog post about Dad's commitment to educational opportunity in the 1970s. Dad stood up, literally, for "Project Concern," a plan to bus (mostly minority) kids from Bridgeport to schools in Westport.

I remember Project Concern fairly well, but I don't remember this incident recalled by Dan Woog and the source of the story, retired Staples High School teacher Dick Leonard, former president of the Westport Education Association -- the teachers' union. Dan writes:" Dick Leonard will always remember Jerry Davidoff for the moment he rose to his feet, in a moment of passion and power, and led a standing ovation for a cause he believed was right."

Dan's post resulted in some nice compliments in the comments:

• From Anonymous: "What an awesome contribution your article makes towards Davidoff’s legacy; People like him personify the difference between good intentions and progressive action."
• From Anne Hardy: "Full disclosure, my father is Dick Leonard and I have MANY childhood memories of dinners at our kitchen table with the subject of the recall, Project Concern, Jerry Davidoff and Joan Schine on the menu! The last comment is exactly right. Davidoff was a do-er. All just part of Wesport’s activist history! Dan, thank you. An excellent and important post."

I've left a compliment to Dan on his blog post thanking him for recognizing Dad and telling a story that had been nearly forgotten.

-- Doug Davidoff

A Tip of Jerry's Hat to the Mitchells

Dad loved shopping for clothes at Mitchells in Westport. In the midst of preparations for his memorial service, I'm glad to read of the Mitchell family's success expanding to the West Coast. Dan Woog covers it in his 06880 blog -- the zip code for Westport.

-- Doug Davidoff

Jerry Davidoff, July 1, 1926 to November 7, 2009

My father died today shortly after 1 p.m. A staff doctor pronounced him dead at 1:13 p.m.

His condition this morning was the same as the day before, largely, and I saw him about 15 minutes before he died. I had arrived at the hospital from my parents' condo, greeted Dad in his room, said goodbye again, and gave him a hug and a kiss. I joined my mother and some family friends in the hospital cafeteria, and it turned out that Mom had said goodbye to Dad in a similar fashion a few minutes before.

It was a good death. We joined hands around his bed, touching him on the legs and shoulders. The Rev. Olivia Holmes, a close friend and interim minister at Second Congregational Society Unitarian Universalist in Concord, New Hampshire, led us in a blessing in which we imagined Dad sailing on a new ocean, tacking along the shoreline to keep an eye on those of us he has left behind, and then setting forth under full spinnaker to explore new seas.

We also authorized an autopsy to see if the cause of his encephalitis can be determined and to help the doctors who have cared so much for him discover how to spot this in the next patient.

I love my Dad and I appreciate your stopping by this blog.

-- Doug Davidoff

A Look Back at 'Civil Liberty,' Jerry & Denny's Catalina 380

Jerry's eldest grandchild, Rob Davidoff, just sent over a link to a history of Catalina sailboats. Jerry and Denny's second cruising sailboat was Civil Liberty, a Catalina 380. (It was 38 feet long overall.)

-- Doug Davidoff

Connecticut Hospice Cares for Dad

Dad is being cared for inside the Connecticut Hospice unit at Norwalk Hospital. Connecticut Hospice was the first in the nation, which you can read about on its website.

-- Doug Davidoff