Goodbye, Jerry

Jerry Davidoff: An "Extraordinary Life" Featured in the Hartford Courant

 

This is wonderful affirmation.

The Hartford Courant, America's oldest continuously published newspaper and the leading newspaper in Connecticut, features Dad this Sunday in its "Extraordinary Life" feature. The headline is Jerry Davidoff Was 'A Drum Major For Justice.'

The weekly story profiles an interesting life led by a Connecticut Nutmegger who has died within the past few months. The series is written by Anne Hamilton of Hartford who learned about Dad in his final days because she is friends with my partner, Marta Flanagan. 

The article quotes Mom and my brother, John, as well as Dan Woog, Wayne Arnason, Anne Stanback, Tracy Sugarman, and me. Dad's oldest friend, Robert Fried, also spoke with Anne Hamilton -- but unfortunately they connected too late for Anne to consider using Robert's recollections in her story.

Like many newspapers, the Sunday Courant can be purchased on Saturday and much of the Sunday feature material, including "Extraordinary Life," is posted on the web on the Friday or Saturday preceding the Sunday. Which is to say that at this writing on Friday night, the feature is already available on the web.

The list of people featured every week by Anne Hamilton in "Extraordinary Life" reminds me of the potential and diversity of people in the world. It makes me want to connect with the families of other "Extraordinary Life" subjects in the Hartford area and across Connecticut.

And it reminds me of how much I miss Dad. And how much I appreciate his example.

-- Doug Davidoff

At Age 81, Jerry Made It Onto YouTube

My brother, John Davidoff, found this YouTube video of Jerry from the Laurel Hallman campaign for the UUA presidency. John found this a month or so ago, but I forgot to post it until now.

Funny thing is, this video wouldn't exist were it not for me. It was recorded at the UUA's 2008 General Assembly in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I was helping the Hallman campaign make video endorsements outside a Hallman evening reception. Dad was eager to leave, but I convinced him to stay long enough to record this testimonial. Now I'm glad I did. (I'm standing behind the camera and videographer.)

Dad was 81 years old at the time, a week or so shy of his 82nd birthday on July 1, 2008. It's good to hear his voice.

-- Doug Davidoff

A New Poem for Jerry: 'Beannacht,' Which is Gaelic for 'Blessing'

Joshua and Lisa Heisterkamp Davis of Arlington, Massachusetts, introduced me to a new poet. He is John O'Donohue, an Irish writer who died in 2008. He was just 52 years old.

The Davises sent me a copy of O'Donohue's poem "Beannacht," which is the Gaelic word for "Blessing." You can hear John O'Donohue read this poem on NPR's Speaking of Faith program.

I think Dad would have liked this poem. By the way, "currach" (also "corracle") is Gaelic for a small rounded boat made of waterproof material stretched over a wicker or wooden frame. So I like the allusion in "When the canvas frays / in the currach of thought  ..."

-- Doug Davidoff

On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.

And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.

Meet Marcella Calabi, Who Sang at Jerry's Memorial Service

In the planning for Dad's memorial service, the biggest surprise to me was learning about Marcella Calabi, a member of the Fried family who I had not known. It turned out that Dad knew her and loved her voice.

Mom asked Marcella to sing one of Dad's favorite songs, "On a Clear Day, You Can See Forever," by Burton Lane and Alan Jay Lerner, popularized by Barbra Streisand. Marcella also sang a Mozart piece, "Ridente la Calma."

Dad had such a variety of friends! You can explore Marcella Calabi's work and career at her website.

-- Doug Davdoff

Poem: Aunt Clara

Dad loved this poem, and the Rev. Olivia Holmes found the words. (It has its racy moments.)

-- Doug Davidoff

Poem: Sea Fever

John Davidoff and Dad's friend Frances Sink are both quite fond of "Sea Fever," a poem by John Masefield (1878-1967), who was English poet laureate from 1930-1967.

Jacki Davidoff read this poem during Dad's memorial Service on November 28.

I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face, and a grey dawn breaking.

I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.

It is a pleasure to post this poem.

-- Doug Davidoff

Right on Cue, The New York Times Profiles Jerry's Boyhood Neighborhood of Sunnyside Gardens in Queens, New York

Photo of kitchen/dining area of unit at Sunnyside Gardens in Queens, New York, shows courtyard allowing this unit to relate to other units on the block. (Photo by Tina Fineberg for the New York Times.)

There are not many people around these days who knew Dad when he was a kid. But leave it to The New York Times to help us fill in this gap. On Sunday, November 29 -- the day after Dad's memorial service -- the newspaper published an article about a young couple and their daughter who make their home in Sunnyside Gardens, the groundbreaking urban design that Dad's parents, Bernie and Mildred, chose for their home in the 1920s and 1930s.

There's an NYT slide show of the Simonson-Nover unit. I especially like Photo #4, reproduced above, which shows the social relationships possible in these units, which backed up into a central courtyard. It's good to see that after 85 years, the units are being used for young families -- just as Dad's parents did when the development first opened.

It's fun to imagine Bernie, Mildred, and their two boys in a unit similar to the Simonson-Nover unit.

Wikipedia also has an article about Sunnyside, the neighborhood in Queens of which Sunnyside Gardens (another Wikipedia article) is a component.

Order of Service for Celebration of Jerry's Life

Read the order of service for Jerry's Celebration of Life on Saturday, November 28 [PDF download].

The cover photo was taken by John Hooper aboard Civil Liberties in 2003.

-- Doug Davidoff

Doug's Eulogy for Jerry

My eulogy for Dad is entitled, "For the Love Which From Our Birth, Over and Around Us Lies," taken from the hymn "For the Beauty of the Earth."

Download PDF of Doug's eulogy for Jerry.

-- Doug Davidoff